Molly the Moocow Drinks Tea

Hello, hello, okay. Molly the Moocow drinks tea. The story happens quite some time in the youth of Molly the Moocow, Peppy the Pig, and Kristy the Kitty Cat. If you recall, there was once a great evil. She had possessed Kristy the Kitty Cat but escaped in a teapot.

One day, Molly the Moocow woke up in a really good mood. As always, she woke up, took off her pajamas, and changed into her clothes, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, and went downstairs to have breakfast. When she went into her kitchen, she noticed something strange. Her old teapot had been replaced with a new one.

"Did I buy a teapot?" Molly thought. "Or was that a gift from somebody I know?" She wondered. "It's a mighty fine teapot, and I remember seeing a poor four." And then she had an idea. "Oh yes, it's Kristy the Kitty Cat's teapot." Molly was very pleased. She remembered whose teapot it was.

But then she thought, "Where is my teapot?" And she started looking for it. Eventually, she found it, outside her kitchen window, smashed into tiny pieces on the porch. "That's curious," thought Molly. "Who would be so mean as to trash my teapot?" Could it be Kristy the Kitty Cat, she thought? "No, that makes no sense. Why would Kristy trash my teapot and give me a new one?"

"Curious."

"Speaking of curious," Molly thought, "I wonder if there's anything good to eat in my fridge?" She wandered over to the fridge and opened it. In the fridge, she found eggs, vegetables, bacon, celery, milk, juice, and cheese. "You know what I want?" She thought. "I want tea."

So she took out the milk and the butter. Then she put the butter back in, realizing you don’t use butter when you make tea. She then turned and looked at the teapot. She walked towards it, eyeing it. She reached out for the teapot and grabbed it by its handle.

Then she put water in the teapot, put it on the stove, and turned it on. She waited. She waited some more and then got a cup and a teabag. The water started to boil. She turned off the stove and poured the water into the cup. The water glowed green.

"That's not normal," she thought. She looked at her cup of green glowing water and decided not to drink it. She poured it down the drain. When she turned around, the teapot was sitting there. She went back to the teapot, picked it up, and poured out some more water, which was, of course, glowing green. She was upset and tossed out that water.

"What kind of teapot," she thought to herself, "makes green glowing water? That’s ridiculous." She looked at the teapot again and decided to test it one more time. She grabbed it, poured out some water, which was green.

"That's it," she said. "I’m not using this teapot. It's glowing green, at least the water is." That day she didn’t have any tea. Once she went to bed that night, she tucked herself in, turned out her lights, snuggled deep into her bed, and started to sleep.

Suddenly, she woke up because something was poking her in the nose. Her eyes snapped open, and she saw the teapot. She could see it growing legs and arms. It was glowing bright green and growling at her.

And it said in a very evil-sounding voice, "Look, cow, you’re going to drink the tea or else."

"Smashed the teapot. Smashed the teapots."

"No," she thought, "but then it would drop into the house and the house would become evil." Molly was very scared. Very scared indeed. Then she remembered, "It's a nightmare."

And so she said, "Sure, okay, I’ll drink the tea, you weird little teapot."

"Oh, I need a light for this."

And with that, while Molly and the teapot traipsed downstairs, all calm-like, the teapot allowed itself to be put on the oven, all the while growling about how she was going to drink the tea. Molly, believing it was a nightmare, was happy to do it because she had a theory that if you just behaved really nice and pleasant and always smiled during a nightmare, nothing bad could possibly happen to you.

Finally, when the water was boiled, the tea was made. She poured out the tea and it was glowing green as ever. The moment of truth had arrived.

"Alright," said the teapot. "Now drink the tea."

Molly the Moocow looked down at the teacup and its glowing green tea water and said, "Oh, I can’t drink the tea yet. It’s still too hot."

"Oh," said the teapot. "Fine. We’ll wait."

And they waited.

"Alright," said the teapot. "Now drink the tea."

Molly the Moocow looked at the tea and said, "Okay, well, it’s warm. It’s not too hot. But I need to put sugar in it."

"Fine," said the teapot. "Put the sugar in. I’ll do it for you."

So the teapot ran over to the sugar bowl, took out a spoon, and put a spoonful of sugar in.

"Is that enough?"

"No," said Molly the Moocow.

"Put another spoonful."

"Now that?"

"No."

"Put a third one in."

"That?"

"No."

"Put a fourth one in."

"This has got to be enough. That’s four spoons of sugar. How much sugar do you need?"

"Now you need to stir."

So the teapot began to stir the green glowing tea and stirred it, stirred it.

"Now drink the tea," said the teapot.

"Need milk," said Molly.

"Ah," screamed the teapot and danced around on the counter, bashing its head against the wall. It ran over to the fridge, opened it, jumped up, grabbed the milk, brought it back, and poured out some milk.

"Is that enough?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now drink the tea."

"The fridge is still open," said Molly. She rushed over, closed the fridge, put the tea back in, opened the fridge, put the tea back in, closed the fridge a few more times, and then ran back.

"Now drink the tea."

"So," said Molly, "what’s your name?"

"What?"

"Well, you know, when you have tea, you have to have a conversation if there’s someone with you."

"You stupid cow. I’m a teapot. I don’t have a name. I’m not even technically a someone."

"Well, you’re talking to me," said Molly.

"Fine. My name is Tim. Tim the Teapot. Are you happy?"

"Oh," said Molly, "Tim is a perfectly fine name. My name is Molly. Nice to meet you, Tim."

"Oh my god. Drink the tea, cow."

"That’s Molly."

"Molly the Moocow."

"Yes, yes, yes. Okay, fine. Drink the tea."

The teapot was getting really frustrated. It was pacing back and forth waiting for Molly to drink the tea already. I mean, all she had to do was drink the tea.

Molly the Moocow reached for the tea. "Yes," said the teapot. "Yes, drink it."

She picked up the teacup in her hand.

"Yes," said the teapot. "Drink the tea."

She moved it towards her mouth.

"Drink the tea. Drink it," screamed the teapot at the top of his lungs. "Drink it."

He screamed so loud that Molly the Moocow jumped, dropping the teacup on the floor, shattering it all over the place.

"No."

"Hide the teapot."

"No."

Molly the Moocow just said, "Oh gosh. I’m so sorry. I’ll have to clean that up." She turned around and saw the teapot with a big cleaver in its hands.

"Yes, that’s it. No turning. No cleaning up for you, cow. Now you’ve become steak."

Molly the Moocow was very surprised. Normally her nightmares don’t go this far or get this weird. After all, there was a teapot with a meat cleaver chasing her. They ran around the kitchen in a big circle. Around the dining room they went, around and around the tables, the counters, the chairs, around and around. Molly was getting really tired in this nightmare. The teapot just kept screaming at her about how she should have just drunk the tea.

Finally, Molly was too tired to run anymore. So she stopped and said, "Look, Tim, I’m tired of this. I know this is all a nightmare and all, but I shouldn’t be getting tired in this nightmare. It’s just ridiculous. I’m going to wake up tired. So I’m done. I’m going back to bed."

"Yaaaaah!" screamed the teapot and charged at Molly.

Now as we all know, Molly the Moocow is not the smartest of all creatures in the world. In fact, she might be considered completely daft by some. But even the completely daft know what to do when someone’s charging them with a big meat cleaver.

Molly the Moocow stepped aside and smashed it with a chair. The chair exploded all

over the teapot. The teapot dropped the meat cleaver and skidded along the floor, stunned. Molly the Moocow said, "Now look! We’ve ruined a chair. We’ll just have to clean that up too, won’t we?"

The teapot moaned, "Uggghhh!"

"I don’t know what kind of crazy teapot you are, but when I get up in the morning, you better not be here."

"Oh wait, you’re a nightmare."

"Ugggghhh!" cried the teapot.

Molly the Moocow picked it up by one of its hands, dangled it for a while. It was still stunned. She took a leg from the chair and bashed it across the head a few times, denting it.

"Ugh! Uh, uh, uh!"

"You be quiet, teapot. How dare you attack me with a meat cleaver! It’s just rude."

The teapot turned towards her, and she smacked it once more in the head. It was about to say something and she smacked it again in the head. It looked at her, and she smacked it. In fact, just for good measure, she smacked it three or four more times.

When Molly the Moocow was done smacking the teapot, it wasn’t so talkative. In fact, she decided, "I don’t want you, Timmy, in my house. And I don’t really think you should be walking around anymore."

So without any further ado, Molly the Moocow took that same cleaver and chopped off both the teapot’s legs. The teapot thrashed around and screamed, but Molly just bashed it on the head again. After that, she simply tossed it in the garbage.

"Now you stay there, Mr. Nightmare Teapot Tim."

"Now with that," she commenced to clean up.

"You might wonder why Molly the Moocow started cleaning up if she thought it was a nightmare." Her reason was, even though you’re having a bad dream, it’s always a good policy to keep smiling, have a good time, and always leave your dream neatly.

When she was done cleaning up her kitchen, she went straight to bed. In the morning, she woke up and thought, "What a strange dream I had." And wow, my kitchen’s really clean. She went out to throw the garbage, and there was no teapot.